Let's be honest, when you look in the mirror, what’s the first thing you notice? A glowing smile? Bright eyes? Or is it the fine lines, dark spots, or texture you wish weren’t there?
For so many of the women I see in my studio, the habit is the same: a quick scan for flaws. A critical, harshly judgmental eye. A quiet dismissal of all that’s beautiful and healthy and vibrant.
What would happen if we flipped that script that seems to run on auto pilot for so many of us.
What if instead of living in a mindset of lack, we consciously chose to live in a mindset of gratitude—for the beauty and health we do have? Everyone, and I mean absolutely everyone, has something about them that is truly beautiful and special. It's not that the "less than perfect" aspects of our appearance don't exist, but it's all about where you choose to shine that spotlight of your attention and focus that really matters to how you ultimately feel and in turn, look.
The Energy You Put Out is the Energy You Get Back
Here's something fun to play with - there’s something powerful about generously acknowledging beauty—not just in yourself, but also in others.
Think about it: how often do you pause to say, “Wow, your skin looks so healthy!” or “I love how your smile lights up your whole face,” or “Your hair is incredible—so thick and full!”
When we give those compliments freely, we’re not just making someone else’s day (although we definitely are)—we’re also putting out positive, vibrant, life-affirming energy. And that energy tends to come right back around, it's infectious, it spreads.
Generosity of spirit is a beauty practice in itself. When you train your eye to look for what’s wonderful—on your own face and in the faces of others—you begin to rewrite your internal script. You shift from criticism to appreciation. From self-doubt to self-confidence. From lack to abundance.
The Three Beauty Mindsets I've Observed
Over the years, I’ve come to recognize three common beauty mindsets in the women who come through my studio. Of course these are generalizations and there are nuances to every person but none the less there are fairly clear types:
1. The Hyper-Critical Perfectionist
This individual notices every single perceived flaw. They’re focused on their pores, the line between their brows, the uneven texture on their cheeks, the loose skin on their neck. They'll often stare into the magnifying mirror and pick themselves apart, failing to see the forest for the trees. So focused on the tiny details and their perceived importance that they fail to take in the whole image of how they are actually experienced by the world at large.
When we look at each other we're taking in everything; the clothes, the hair, the smile (or lack thereof), the face and so on. No where on this list does it say "the quality of the skin specifically in your under-eye zone"!
My heart goes out to this woman. She’s missing the full picture of her own beauty. She’s choosing to see herself through a lens of scrutiny—and that lens often distorts reality.
All of this can no doubt be tricky. We're talking about our perception of self, our appearance! All of which can be especially challenging for many as we age and our appearance really does start to change in ways that are generally beyond our control.
2. The Lighthearted Learner
This person isn’t oblivious to her imperfections—she just doesn’t give them power. She shows up curious, open, and ready to learn something new. She’s here for fun, not a face-off with her reflection.
This energy is magnetic. Her lightness is beautiful. She radiates self-acceptance. Of course every great thing can occasionally bring with it a potential for downside which in this case can sometimes be a somewhat reckless disregard for the details necessary for well executed makeup. Sometimes this personality works too quickly and the results can be a bit chaotic and not as effective as they could be. So we all have things we're working on. As a popular sentiment often expresses, we all have problems, it's just about what problems do you want to have!? Personally I would choose a little abandon over rigid negative self talk.
3. The Graceful Realist
She sees what she might like to improve, sure—but she’s not obsessed. She’s aware, but kind to herself. She focuses on what she does like, embraces what she can’t change, and makes smart choices about what she can enhance.
This woman is grounded. She’s fundamentally happy in her own skin and with what she sees in the mirror, it's about learning and growing skills. There's an openness of attitude and sprit that is delightful. She's often quick to share heartfelt compliments.
Let’s Talk About the Magnifying Mirror
Ah, the magnifying mirror—my love-hate relationship with this little circle of judgment. I’ve joked that it’s both a blessing and a curse, and I stand by that.
Here’s my new rule: you’re only allowed to use it if it’s absolutely necessary. Your eyes need the extra help due to vision issues and it's time to do something precise like tweezing or applying liner, maybe. Otherwise? Banish it to the drawer I say!
Why? Because that mirror shows you a version of yourself no one else ever sees. It’s like examining your skin under a microscope and then using that view to define your worth. It’s just not fair—or accurate.
Trust me: no one is looking at the quality of your undereye skin that closely. Not your friends, not your coworkers, not even the people who love you most. Especially not them.
Yes when it comes to makeup the details do matter, do the very best that you can with blending and precision, but do not drive yourself mad questioning how everything looks when it's super zoomed in.
So… How Do You Start Loving What You See in the Mirror?
Here’s a little friendly guidance, from someone who’s worked with thousands of faces and believes in your beauty—just as you are:
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Start with gratitude.
Before you critique, thank your body and your face. For carrying you through your life. For expressing your emotions. For aging, yes—because it means you’re still here - Give at least one compliment a day—to yourself and someone else.
- Train your eyes to notice the good. Reinforce it. Speak it out loud. (You’ll be amazed how much lighter your day feels.)
- Only use the magnifying mirror when it's absolutely necessary. You deserve to see yourself through the same warm, loving lens you use for others.
- Focus on how you feel—not just how you look.Do your skincare, apply your makeup, or book that facial because it makes you feel confident and cared for—not because you think you’re not enough and are trying to fix a bunch of self perceived flaws.
- Be your own beauty ally. If you wouldn’t say it to your best friend, don’t say it to yourself.
The truth is, beauty isn’t about flawlessness. It’s about vibrancy, energy, generosity, and self-respect. When you live in a space of gratitude and extend beauty-based kindness to others, you create a ripple effect—inside and out.
And if you need a little help seeing the beauty in your reflection? We're here. Whether it’s a makeup lesson, a skincare refresh, or just a warm, honest conversation, Prête Studio is a place where your beauty is seen, celebrated, and elevated.
Let’s shift the narrative—one grateful glance at a time. 💕
I'd love to hear your thoughts! If this post sparked a question or curiosity, send me a DM on Instagram @adriennefurrie or email me anytime at adrienne@adriennefurrie.com Real conversations are my favourite kind.
